Ben: I see your points, particularly the one reagrding the different tools in the box. I’m just not sure how many people get motivated by direct punishment. Is it the most evil thing in the world? No. But I do think it can lead to situations where people become afraid to step up.

Theo: You bring up a great point with what at times is made out to be the “all powerful Gen-X experience.” I can’t speak for all millenials, but I get the Gen-X experience thing and I respect…but I like to have my ideas heard and I like to experiment. You’re right, the valuation of opinion/confidence thing is not an easy fix.

Jamie: I’m not sure about confidence fully playing into things like moving home after college and trying to delay the real world. It could just be avoidance of responsibility and a bit of laziness, couldn’t it?

For me, I couldn’t be MORE EXCITED to enter the so-called “real world.” I want it so badly and I want the best job out there, not move back with my parents.

The lack of confidence is noticeable, or at least, something similar to low self-esteem.

We don’t know why this group of people didn’t answer that phone. We have anecdotal evidence and suppositions that abound, but we don’t know, and even speculating about the cause of their inaction is probably a waste of time.

I could think of a bunch of reasons why no one would have picked up a ringing phone, but I don’t think that’s really the issue here. The question is why is there the perception that Gen Y lacks confidence. I suspect it could be that this is a common issue with Millennials, but it could also be that there are better reasons for their actions than lack of confidence.

As a millennial, I’ve never been the type to not raise my hand in class or share my experiences. I have noticed that lots of people seem reluctant to share their own experiences. I suspect there is something more important at work here than a ‘lack of confidence.’

I can’t speak for everyone, but one of the trends that I’ve noticed in school and among my peers, is that authority figures are always telling us that we don’t have any real world experience, and that without that experience our thoughts and opinions don’t matter. I would hope we all know that this isn’t true, but it explains this perceived lack of confidence. I would postulate that it’s not lack of confidence at all, but lack of valuation. My peers have been told by teachers, parents, and bosses of the last couple generations that their words aren’t valuable without X or Y experience to back it up.

Two generations of people obsessed with the dogma of ‘the right way to do things’ is enough to make even the most self-confident person cease valuing their opinion.

There is no easy solution, but it’s a good start for millennials to value themselves even in comparison with boomers and xers, and for boomers and xers to value us truly.

First, Nadira wrote that Gen Y seems coddled. This is partly true, but misses out on an important point – a specific subculture of Gen Y is coddled. Just as not all Gen Xers have white collar jobs, a house in the suburbs, two kids, and an SUV, so too do Gen Yers not all conform to the coddled, passive mindset.

However, as there is that perception among older generations, it’s a situation we can’t just ignore. We must deal with it quickly and decisively when it arises, and then move on. This can be something as simple as taking charge when others are waffling (which I occasionally do at meetings, much to the surprise, and perhaps chagrin, of some of my older coworkers).

Second, with regard to reward-versus-punishment motivation, that’s a topic that has been discussed at length for many decades, if not centuries. My personal opinion is that positive reinforcement of behavior trumps punishment on most occasions, but that force is a necessary tool in the toolbox. Which tool you use should depend on what the person in question is most likely to respond well to.